Archive for the ‘Today’s Joke’ Category

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, “Are you looking at my pussy?” “Yes,...
September 2nd, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A woman walks into Target to return a faulty toaster she just purchased the day before. She walks up to the Customer Service counter and slams the toaster down. The pimple-faced boy looks up and says,”Welcome to Target. May I help you?” The woman glares at him and says, “I’d like...
September 1st, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A man was on a date with a woman. They had returned to her place and were sitting on the sofa, making out. Nibbling her earlobe, the man whispered, “You know, I’d like a little pussy.” She said, “Oh, me too, mine’s as big as a house.” Tags: joke, Today's Joke Related...
August 31st, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retire to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man calls over to his wife, “My little boopey-boo, I’m lonely.” So the woman...
August 30th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said “well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine”. “Well, what did he want to do?” they all asked. She said ” I...
August 29th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A husband, wife and a son walk into an ice-cream shop. The dad says I’ll have a chocolate, the wife says I’ll have a vanilla. Then the dad slaps his son in the back of the head and says, “What do you want fat head?” The lady helping them says “Why did you hit him in the...
August 25th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
The teacher asked the children in her class, what they want to be when they grow up. “I want to be an actress,” Susie says. “Good girl, Susie.” “I want to be an astronaut,” Cliff says. “Good boy, Cliff.” “And I want to be a sex therapist,” Little...
August 24th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
This old man marries a girl barely out of her teens. Needless to say she is asking for it so whenever they get into bed on the wedding night she asks him “So are we going to have rampant sex tonight?” The man responds by raising his hand and outstretching his fingers. “What? Five times?” asks...
August 23rd, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
Prince Charming gets very drunk at the ball and ends up staggering out of the palace and into the Royal Vegetable Garden. When the Queen realizes that he’s missing, she sends all the palace guards out in search of her son. In just minutes, the head guard finds the errant prince having a jolly good...
August 20th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it. An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to knock so loudly. The...
August 17th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A guy is walking down the street, and he’s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars, he gets kicked out again. So by this time, he’s really super horny, so he...
August 16th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
At his wedding reception, the young groom’s grandad congratulated his grandson and said: “The secret to enjoying a long and happy marriage, is to listen to each other at all times, respect each other’s wishes and to try and have sex in moderation. That way, your marriage will last as...
August 12th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
Ryan rents an apartment in New York and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he is there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Ryan smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe...
August 11th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
This guy is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he runs into a hooker. He says, “How much?” She says, “Twenty bucks.” He says, “All right.” They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker. They go under...
August 6th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
Little Johnny is bored all day, hanging around the house. He goes into his parents room and finds them having sex. “What are you doing?” Johnny asks. “Uh, well, we’re dancing.” replies his mother. “What’s daddy doing?” “He’s my partner, now...
August 4th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her husband and says, “Honey, Do you remember this?” He looks up at her and says, “Yes dear,...
August 3rd, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He’d toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing...
August 2nd, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
It was the Spring of 1957 Bobby went to pick up his date. When he got to the front door, the girl’s father answered and invited him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he said. “That’s cool,” said Bobby. Carrie’s father asked...
July 30th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for one but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 16 in his town has been at it. Finally he decides to take matters in hand and adopts a baby girl from the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking...
July 29th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More

Today’s Joke

Today’s Joke
A frustrated housewife decided her sex life needed spicing up after 20 years of marriage. After her husband went to work she slipped out and went into a lingerie shop and picked up a pair of crotchless knickers. She went home, tarted herself up and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to...
July 28th, 2010 | Today's Joke | Read More
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