Archive for the ‘Dirty Joke’ Category

Today’s Joke

Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, “Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour, ’cause my pee barely trickles out.” “Heck,...
August 10th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
  Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a highly agitated, arrogant little man who ran a small business that he had started from scratch. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly,...
April 2nd, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Featured | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A middle-aged man marries a younger woman but discovers that no matter what he does in bed, she won’t orgasm. So he takes the problem to his doctor who explains that maybe fantasy sex is the answer. So the man hires a young, charming male escort and has him stand naked while waving a towel over...
April 1st, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Featured | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing...
March 31st, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Featured, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Three friends are in a car driving to the ballgame when a big truck runs them over, killing them instantly. They find themselves at the Pearly Gates being interviewed by St. Peter. “OK, you,” he says, pointing to Vito, “How many times did you cheat on your wife? And don’t lie,...
March 30th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Featured, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation. This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem. In response the doctor said, “When you feel the urge to ejaculate, try startling yourself”. One...
March 27th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A young boy asks his father, “Dad, is it ok for us guys to notice all the different kind of boobs?” Surprised, the father answers, “Well, sure son, we wouldn’t be normal if we didn’t… there are all kinds of breasts. Depending on a woman’s age, they are different...
March 26th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, over sized peni$es. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir,” the...
March 25th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
“Doc,” says Steve, “I want to be castrated.” “What on earth for?” asks the doctor in amazement. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done” replies Steve. “But have you thought it through properly?”...
March 24th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope....
March 23rd, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
There was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider. She does and they continue. A few minutes go by and he tells her again, “Open your legs a little wider.” She does, then he says again, “A little wider, hon.” The...
March 20th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half, but accidentally sends her the bottom half of the picture. He...
March 19th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had died, Jenny went straight to visit her grandmother. When she asked how her grandpa had died, her grandma explained, not holding back anything of course, “He had a heart attack during sex, Sunday morning!” Horrified, Jenny suggested that screwing...
March 18th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Business was good at the local whorehouse and the madam decided to partition one of larger rooms. After the work was complete the carpenter asked for payment but was put off. After several weeks he still hadn’t been paid and he regularly threatened, “Pay me or I’ll rip out the partition.” Finally...
March 17th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
There was a tour bus in Egypt that stopped in the middle of a town square. The tourists are all shopping at the little stands surrounding the square. One tourist looks at his watch, but it is broken, so he leans over to a local who is squatted down next to his camel. “What time is it, sir?”...
March 16th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
At the end of a long crime fighting day, Superman decides he needs to relax for a few hours, so he rings spiderman to see if he’d like to go out for a drink. Spiderman replies “No, I have to repair my web spinner.” So, Superman rings a few more of his super hero friends and they’re...
March 12th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
It was my 30th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too great when I woke up that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone “Happy...
March 11th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A young man goes to a whorehouse to expierence his first taste of sex. The madam suggests that he start with 69. He decides to give it a try. The prostitute leads him to a room, gets undressed, and instructs the young man to eat her pussy. Unfortunately, just as he starts she farts. The man quietly...
March 10th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.” The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.” The wife continues, “Yeah,...
March 9th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Before the final match, the American wrestler’s trainer came to him and said, “Now don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this “pretzel” hold he has. Whatever you do, don’t let him get you in this...
March 6th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
A guy died and woke up to find he was in Hell. He was really depressed as he stood in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thought to himself, “I know I led a wild life, but I wasn’t that bad. I never thought it would come to this.” Looking up he saw...
March 5th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Grandma Goes to Court Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping...
March 4th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work
Three guys are sitting at the bar, when a stranger walked in and took a stool at the far end of the bar. The three guys were tranfixed on the stranger, who bear a striking resemblance to Jesus. For quite a while they were speculating if in fact it was the Son of God himself. Finally Joe stands up and...
March 3rd, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, “Come on, babe, let’s go in the alleyway and get it on. I’ve got fifteen bucks.” She says, “FIFTEEN bucks? You’re crazy. For fifteen bucks, I’ll let you LOOK at it.” They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her...
February 27th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Three 7 year old girls were walking down the street wearing there mothers clothing, large hats, high heels and long dresses. As they passed a bar they noticed no one was in the bar except the bartender. One of the girls said, lets go in for a drink. They went in and crawled up onto the bar stools. The...
February 26th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster, named Randy; he’ll service every chicken you’ve got. No problem.” Well,...
February 25th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my...
February 24th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blistery day. The daughter said to her mother, ‘My hands are freezing cold.’ The mother replied, ‘Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.’ The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The...
February 23rd, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Two aliens landed in the West Texas desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.” The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The alien repeated the greeting....
February 20th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail….. When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn’t going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used “blow-up” dolls...
February 19th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she’ll become a hooker.  She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you’ve got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner. She’s...
February 18th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

Do men remember anniversaries? A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just...
February 17th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

Here’s A Joke – Take A Break From Work

  Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, “I’m so pissed off !”   “Oh yeah? What happened?” asked the bartender politely.   “See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our...
February 16th, 2009 | Dirty Joke, Randomness | Read More

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